#I GET IT. TRAGEDY COOL. CAN WE PROGRESS THE PLOT.

[kirnet]

A quarter of the way through and 😬 based on some StoryGraph reviews it might pick up towards the halfway point? This book as incredible reviews so like. There has to be something sticking around for, right?

I realize it’s trying to do a slow burn buildup to something explosive (I hope) but I’m realizing a big pet peeve of mine is all this intense explaining of the past rather than just. Showing the present. Or doing scenes actually set in the past. You can SHOW me stuff on the page rather than telling it to me.

I’m only on chapter 3 of ink blood sister scribe and I cannot stress enough that it is not written badly at all and the audiobook narrator is very good. But my brain absolutely is repelling the story so far

[vivithefolle]

Aside from letting Luna of all people take a dig on Ron for some non-existent reason, i think Hermione's self insertion and Mary Sue writing also damaged Luna's. It's the emotional awareness Hermione randomly gained after book 3 having no selfawareness due to her pride and rigidness being a jerk to people. Hermione is randomly the one who tells Ginny - who has NOTHING in common with her and busying with Quidditch or teaming up in crime with the twins - to be herself, but not Luna (1)

who was always Ginnys friend and whose thing was always "be yourself dont care". Hermione is the one who knows Ginny is Harry type and can read Harry like a book, despite not clicking with him at all when it comes to things he and Ginny cared about, in the same book, but not Luna, who Harry liked and related to since book 5. (2)

Hermione is the one who tells Harry Ron was jealous of him – gee thanks Hermione, wouldn’t be be less insecure if his supposed love interest cared about things he cared about instead of whatever the hell you were doing in book 3 and 4. Luna is supposed to be the openminded, emotionally free and caring, people reading, deep quoting, knowledge applying Ravenclaw, but only in theory. , but thanks to being there late AND Hermione, she was reduced to an outcast for the sake of ir. (4)

She has no character development either, nothing but a weirdo conspiracy theorist that didn’t even get to have a “rival” arc with Hermione, to develop either of them from being total antagonistic opposites, and a prop in book 7 for when Harry needs her. Hermione remains a closeminded asshole with NO true friends but two, but now somehow always right, and Luna…nothing that shows a good Ravenclaw, despite what movie fans tells themselves.

(7) Hermione is badly written bc she’s DAMAGING to all characters that comes close to her, and the more I reread I realize why the fandom was so divided and toxic around her. Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Rowling ruined them all with the self insert.

Let's be fair and remember that Luna came in last.

She was in the prime spot to be "the new character that shows everyone what they've been missing all along" and as such would be in a prime spot to earn the fan's ire, but she wasn't.

I don't find it awful that Luna wasn't given much to do; she was the newcomer. She appeared in Order of the Phoenix; it's a testament to how cool she is as a character that she sticks to people's minds so much to the point that some chucklefucks will cry about Ginny "coming out of nowhere" only to ship Harry with Luna, who actually did come out of nowhere as far as the books before OOTP were concerned.

The biggest tragedy of all this is... even if she's coming in five books later, Luna still has more backstory and substance to her character than Hermione ever gets in SEVEN books.

Seven books we have of Hermione solving problems for Harry and being basically a crutch for exposition and plot devices, and we still have no idea who she is outside of "being useful to Harry" or "the girl waiting for Ron to grow up, isn't he such a bother taking so long".

Luna could, might have been more. It's sad that she's such a missed opportunity in the end - and it's sad that she's the only non-Gryffindor of the team.

But she's also the last introduced, and as such Hermione should take priority over her when it comes to character development and all that - Hermione is an important secondary character, like Ron is. A problem with other characters' relationships in HP though is that no progress can be made unless Harry is there to observe it. Harry Potter has no object permanence, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[fairybenz]

✦ "a date with death" review! ✦ 

the game "a date with death" was released earlier this month on the 7th, making it a fairly new game! i had originally played the demo and fell in love, which led me to install the full version as soon as it released! (the game is completely free to play on steam!)

here is our love interest, the grim reaper! he's super cute, i know (he's my current laptop wallpaper haha)

✩ let's talk about him!

-> a basic intro to the plot of the game: you, the player, have lately been experiencing some strange things. wherever you go, tragedy nearly strikes and you have many near death experiences! you return home from work to find a program installed on your computer, and when you open it (after some reluctance), you realize it's a chatroom. inside, you are greeted by someone claiming to be the grim reaper!

-> i won't get into much more detail out of fear to accidentally spoil the game, but the story is really cool! so far i've played one run through and unlocked one ending, but i believe there are 7 possible endings, alongside an extra if you purchase the DLC!

-> the love interest, let's call him Grim, is absolutely adorable. No, like actually. He's definitely the tsundere type, but not in an overly annoying way. He teases and gets flustered often, but he's not outright mean or disrespectful with his words. in fact, he's actually really sweet.

-> also, his CHARACTER DESIGN??? dude, he's so cool. i'm obsessed. the entire artwork of the game is really nice, the artists clearly put a lot of work into it. maybe i'm biased because he's a pretty boy with white hair, but hey! i think we can all agree he's pretty good looking, haha.

✩ okay, simping aside, how's the actual GAME?

-> the game takes place between chatrooms, each of which include a series of choices the player can make to affect which ending they'll receive.

-> don't worry, the chatrooms aren't automatic and are only triggered when the player specifically chooses them to be via clicking on the laptop and opening the chatroom.

-> aside from the chatrooms, the player can interact with different aspects of their room, even following a small mini story within the game. even the laptop mainly used for chatrooms has small games and easter eggs within it. it's very cool!

-> the game also has a lot of options for character and room customization considering it's a new game. i thought it was great to see them allowing the player to choose things like body type, pronouns, and what sort of compliments they're comfortable with. it's great to see dating sims leaning into being more inclusive!

-> the dialogue itself isn't super complex or deep, but it is pretty cute and fits the characters well. a lot of internet references and jokes are made throughout, which i thought was pretty fun. i liked all the different options the player can choose from.

-> i thought the character development throughout the game, while not insane, was pretty good. it was fitting for the time that passes, and it was really nice to see. i liked seeing how the relationship between Grim and the player progresses and changes with each choice.

-> overall, it's definitely a game i'd want to play over and over just to unlock new endings, art, and cutscenes! i think the game itself is a super cute and fun idea, and i'm so happy it came out to be great now that it's fully released.

✩ final verdict: i'd definitely recommend this game to anyone looking to try out a free, super cute dating sim! there is also DLC available to purchase if you want to support the team (which is encouraged, but not necessary for the actual game to play well and be enjoyed.)

✩ let me know what you thought if you played the game! i'm happy to discuss it :) this was my first time ever writing a game review, so any tips would be appreciated for future reviews!

with that said, holland signing off!

[daughter-of-inklings]

Author Ask Tag Game ✧･ﾟ: *

Thank you, @digital-chance for the tag on this game!

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it? The main lesson of the book is the consequences of choice. The world begins because a spirit is lonely and chooses to look for and create a partner. And from their relationship, comes the gods and the worlds. The Earth Mother chooses create a guardian out of Yggdrasil's wood, and to give them the mission to protect the tree and life within in. The moon chooses to engage with a mortal king, despite knowing the consequences, and chooses to keep their daughter, choosing to send her to the mortal realm to be kept safe. There's a routinely ingrained idea of choice, of choosing to be kind and to help others despite knowing it'll end in tragedy and heartbreak, choosing to be good, choosing to continue a never-ending cycle of death and rebirth to perform the duties you were assigned even when the person who gave them is long since dead.

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)? Mix of cool things I've found on Pinterest, mix of Princess Mononoke/Maleficent, mix of Nordic ad Greek mythologies, mix of cool movie scenes I've watched, and also some sprinkled LOTR and Eragon in there.

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person? My MC simply wants to go home, and live a quiet and peaceful life with her adoptive parents. But she's been cursed to die and be reborn, over and over and over, to fight the antagonist in every life, to meet a tragic end by their hands or her own hands. I'm not particularly trying to teach anything, I saw this story played out in a dream and I think I owe it to my MC to tell her story.

How many chapters is your story going to have? It's an epic high fantasy, so somewhere between 30-40, maybe more. Only Gods know. I don't.

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? It's original content! It's posted over here on Wattpad , because I have a soft spot for that abomination website since I started using it when I was a teenager.

When and why did you start writing? When I was a little girl, my mom used to sit with me at night and read faerytales for me to fall asleep. Eventually we ran out of faerytales in the library, so we had to start making up our own and writing them down. I was maybe 2, so I learned to write by tracing the letters she wrote into paper with my finger. Once I got hold of a notebook and pencil, I started writing stories on my own. We've been here since.

Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow? Legitimately, no idea. I kind of just got here. If I could give anyone writing any advice, it'd be to just get it all down on paper as best you can- form a habit of writing, little by little, and it'll add up to a lot. Don't worry about cliches, don't worry about plot holes or rewriting, or you'll get caught up in an endless cycle of self-doubt and rewriting, and never progress. Let your writing be self-indulgent, let it be over the top, and let it be ridiculous. You'll have a lot more fun that way. || I follow uh, pretty much anyone I see in my notes often, tbh. I would like to make friends on here, everyone's WIPs sound so cool! I wanna hear more.

Tagging, non-committedly ofc: @thesoftestofpetals , @foureyedentity , @elean0rarose , @jay-avian , @crowandmoonwriting , @camillenrose , @fayeiswriting , @mxxnwishes, and anyone else who wants to, this is a free and open invitation to answer these!

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

How many chapters is your story going to have?

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

When and why did you start writing?

Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

[semper-legens]

1. The Well of Ascension, by Brandon Sanderson

Owned: No, library Page count: 763 My summary: The Lord Ruler is dead. So is Kelsier. The city and the empire have fallen to Vin, a street urchin turned powerful Mistborn, and Elend Venture, idealist and son of a nobleman. But with three armies on their heels and the Lord Ruler’s secrets hanging over Vin, can they save the world from falling into turmoil before the mists rise once more? My rating: 5/5 My commentary:

I freaking love these books. Admittedly, I have read exactly two of them so far, but I am very much in love with them. They’re exactly what I’m looking for from a fantasy series - in a lot of ways, they remind me of Trudi Canavan’s Black Magician books, but with a larger scope and more focus on the political intrigue than the relationship drama, which is something that I very much appreciate in my fantasy fiction. On the whole, I am still very much enamoured with this series, and will not be able to cover even a third of my thoughts in this post because holy shit are these books long. But I shall do my best!

Vim is our main protagonist - the POV splits off into other people occasionally, but Vim is the central character, and her arc continues from the last book. One thing I really appreciate about Vim is her insecurity, and how she is very strong in some aspects while being incredibly vulnerable in others. She struggles hard with trust issues, never really having had someone she could trust until she met Kelsier - and even then, she wasn’t able to give him her all because of her damage. Which is as heartbreaking as it is increasingly a problem for poor Vim. Somewhat contrary to what I said before, relationship drama does present a large subplot in this book, but it’s more of a natural progression of Vim and Elend’s arcs as characters than the main focus of the plot. There is a love triangle, but it’s largely about Vim’s life being torn between her Mistborn side and her normal woman side rather than Which Hot And Sexy Boy She Wants, which is really what I’m looking for.

What of the other characters? Poor Elend is dealing with a lot, and learning how to become a better leader and a better king even after his crown is stripped from him. I like that he still sticks to his principles and refuses to be a dictator and allows his opponents to get a fair chance even when he knows that a firmer hand might just pull the city through the war, because he wants a fairer world so badly. I fucking love Sazed, his conflict between his mild-mannered personality and the widening horrors that he is encountering is really interesting. Breeze is cool and I love him and I just wish he was a little fruitier. I do not trust Marsh.

I really like how the war is presented here. From the get-go, we know that this is not a fight that our protagonists can win. They’re the weaker party at all times, their only real asset is Vim’s strengths as a Mistborn, and their only way to survive is to ally with one of the sides, which isn’t ideal because they are all assholes. They try and play one side off the other to possibly profit from the downfalls of the rest, but it doesn’t quite go to plan considering that Elend is not a particularly strong leader, and while he does improve it’s too little, too late. It’s a tragedy in slow motion, which is entirely my jam.

Next up, 1700s England, and a demonic puzzle for a strange man.

[kitschykitchen]

🍽️Hot and Fresh Review🍽️

Ideal Snacks for While You’re Watching: An ice pack for the headache you get while reading.

Main Ingredients:

A set of twins: the rambunctious and rebellious boy twin, and the motherly yet grief-stricken girl twin

A cast of characters that diminishes as the plots progress

A storyline that acts like a roller coaster, taking you to the top before dipping horridly down

I first encountered The Tensorate Series by Neon Yang when I read the first standalone novella, The Black Tides of Heaven, in mid-2020. I was using Kindle on my phone during a power outage and found great joy in immersing myself. The setting was intriguing--a fantasy realm based on the Asian continent with a gender-choosing system where people at a certain age can start hormone therapy when deciding on what they want to be. The plot itself was also a familiar comfort. We have a tyrannical mother who leads her empire with an iron fist, with only the rich having access to the magical powers known as "tensing." Her twins end up going down separate paths when the girl twin, Mokoya, joins the family as a prophet who can predict enemy attacks. In contrast, the boy twin, Akeha, joins the revolutionaries who use machinery to battle against the tensors. On my first read, I was a bit disappointed by the ending, but overall, I found the book enjoyable and knew I had to read the rest of them.

Fast forward to this year, when I decided to buy the complete edition and finish the series. I was surprised to find that every book after the first one took an axe to whatever praises I originally had.

It is not an exaggeration that reading the rest of this book series is like watching a trainwreck--slow but disastrous. The second book, The Red Threads of Fortune is from Mokoya's perspective, an expected change considering the first book was in Akeha's perspective. However, the narrative is jarringly different. We've abandoned the plot of the twins leading different lives to now find Mokoya with the machinists and apparently searching for naga in the desert on a mission. From there, the story unravels to reveal a subplot of how the tensors, the rich and powerful who use tensing, have been experimenting on monsters like naga and raptors by embedding them with human souls. The book does take time to give us a glimpse into Mokoya's psyche. In Black Tides of Heaven, we learn of the tragic passing of Mokoya's young daughter in an accident that also caused Mokoya to have a new arm grafted. In Red Threads of Fortune that, it's revealed that Mokoya's raptor she's riding was embedded with her daughter's soul on Mokoya's orders. The antagonist of this novella is a young girl attacking the city with a naga who has the embedded soul of her late mother. Mokoya is forced to confront her trauma by stopping this girl from going on her rampage due to her grief. While Yang does well to create the link between both characters, we are left with a lot of unanswered questions as a caveat. Like, how many times have they done this experiment? Are there more naga/raptors out there with human souls? Why are the machinists getting involved?

If you thought book three would answer these questions, you'd be wrong. Instead, The Descent of Monsters follows a different character outside of our recurring cast. We follow a detective who is investigating a tragedy at a laboratory where they find that a naga-raptor crossbred monster has wiped out all the scientists. Our main cast gets involved as there are also children being experimented on beneath the lab, one of which is Rider's long-lost twin (Rider being a character introduced in Red Threads of Fortune). The detective struggles to get taken seriously by her upper management and ends up working with the machinists to get to the bottom of it. In the end, she finds that the children are training to be prophets who can predict the future and change the outcome. Sounds cool, right? The detective finds Rider's twin, but she can't save the twin as the detective is attacked by the naga-raptor crossbreed and dies at the novel's end. What a cliffhanger! And even more questions! What are the children going to do? Apparently, they escaped the monster, so where are they being held now? Will the public learn of this soon? How will Rider take the news that their twin is alive?

You thought we were going to get answers to any of that? Fat chance. Last book of the series and--hoo boy! The Ascent to Godhood takes a total nosedive as far as contingency goes. We're away from all of the previous plot threads--no more monsters, no more secret child experimentation, no more machinist revolutions. Instead, we're at the end of the revolution! The machinists have successfully assassinated the current empress, Akeha and Mokoya's mom, though they do this off-screen. Our story now follows a first-person point-of-view conversation with Lady Han, one of the members of the machinists, and a brief character we met in the first book. Lady Han tells us all about how she fell in love with the twin's mom, having been her handmaid and spy. Things became worse in their relationship as the empress hungered for more power. She discarded Lady Han and the two effectively parted ways on tense terms. Our last few moments in this story are spent with Lady Han discussing her appreciation for her time spent there, her love for the empress, and the sadness she feels at her passing, before turning over to us--the grieving lover of the detective from the last book. We don't say a word to her and then the credits roll.

When I tell you I wish I could get the time back that I spent on this book...

It goes without saying that this was a travesty when it comes to craft or context. The longer the stories went on, the more convoluted things became. Neon Yang has acknowledged that the novellas were separate stories that they wrote about the same fantasy world, but if you intend to sell this as a complete series, you should be prepared to edit for continuity. Perhaps it would be better to market this as an anthology, though I still think editing should have been done to make the stories have conclusive ends and beginnings.

Overall, The Tensorate Series is a meal that I would never order again, nor would I recommend it to a friend.

Michelin Stars: 2.75/5 (⭐⭐)

[vinxwatches]

(re)watching Transformers: Prime season 1

this was a series that was on during a time, but i don't think i ever saw the end or even a lot of it, though i do remember the motorcycle robot well and thought she was really cool (may have been lesbianism or gender envy), and Red from OSP mentioned is with some regularity which has kept it in my mind. also it was what i was watching when i got picked up to see my sibling for the first time after they were born and i remember being quite annoyed i had to stop watching the show, which clearly has stuck with me for way too long.

ep1 darkness rising, p1

well, it almost looks good. almost, but the lighting engine is just too weak to pull most things off. the graphic quality just doesn't seem to be able to pull of what they want it to. the terrain is extremely low in quality. i expect that to get a lot better, not just with seasons but even though the first season as they build up more assets.

damn that wasn't long for the first death. might also explain why he didn't look great. how much time do you put into a character that exists for 5 minutes?

it's interesting to see an enemy with a plan we know at least in part will fail as they don't truly have the element of surprise. for protagonists it's common, classic tragedy stuff. but never for antagonists.

wow, real subtle guys. two dark purple spiky cars driving like assholes. no one will ever notice anything up. also pausing really reveals how bad things blend. the entire scene has motion blur Except the characters. even still the action is surprisingly good. i just hope the human cast won't be unbearable.

small dextrous fighter dodging around strikes for larger opponents that she can take down? well if that isn't my favourite. no seriously that's always what i try to play in games. i'm no good at hit but it's my fucking jam.

oh she has way too much detail to be a background character. i don't remember this goth girl at all for some reason though. she does have the best personality so far though (yes i like enthusiastic characters)

p2

good way to make him intimidating: give his every footstep a screen shake.

i thought they were going to go somewhat light on combat. NOPE. the bad guys will cut people in half. the good guys will do a fancy kick move of someone's neck and take their head off.

and sometimes it's Very ps2.

damn, it didn't take long at all for the villain to make a turn for the monstrous. i thought that would be season finally or at least mid finally shit. oh shit i think i remember that tiny robot very well, may well have inspired a lot of things i've come up with over the years.

p3

man they really use a lot of plotpoints in the opening multi parter. my fear is that that'll result in a very status quo no progress middle of the season.

i'm getting the feeling that they either don't have the ability or time to fully render some scenes which is why some turn out way worse then others.

and of course the military can't be shown as truly bad.

p4

seriously that the undead army is already a thing is worrying to me. where do you get to go beyond that? "if your opponents are already dead how can we defeat them?" you stop them from being able to move.

ah, they are trying to give the humans a purpose... good luck.

blades extended straight out of the forearm. seems rather impractical. severely limits the amount of cuts you can make as you can't edge align, and these blades seem really short.

the boy walks away... i'm sure i'm supposed to be sad about it, but i'm really not. he added nothing other then being whiny. he'd obvious return. got to have a "default" guy, lets hope he find a bloody use. because responsible isn't interesting.

ok, pretty good threat for what to avoid in the future.

p5

i repeat again: a LOT of big plot point early. i'm afraid for the rest of the series.

transformers is pretty big on defending the home you didn't choose. there's a really harmful message in that. patriotism is incredibly dangerous, which is part of why america is so dangerous, to others and too itself. it's also big on them choosing to defending the home they didn't choose. there's a much less harmful message in that.

Masters and Students

oh, Starscream has a goa to work towards. will it be one episode or a seasonal thing?

"you are a motorcycle, shouldn't you know how to put one together?" "you are a human, can you build me a small intestine". there are some significant differences (motorcycles are designed and lack most useless parts while humans are not and our internals are a bloody mess design wise). but also fair point and fucking funny.

also neat choice to make soundwave, who acts the most like a robot, a drone in plane form.

oh i think i remember this episode. at least the science project subplot i hated.

Con Job

oh yea, he has the high villain shoulders.

Convoy

i was going to say that there were less and less ps2 moments. then they introduced a new setting and yea it's not looking great.

pretty good ending speech and pretty interesting concept for future plots.

Speed Metal

fucking hell don't say "that's my girl" it's fucking weird and gross.

at least they aren't (currently) pairing up the main human male and female character because i don't trust this show to do that well.

Predatory

oh shit we're diving into some heavy shit here. i'm afraid spider lady will be an obvious bad guy.

damn there's serious PTSD going on here. and how RC seems perfectly equipped to fight her could be extremely deep story telling if you read it that the made herself perfect to fight exactly her again.

Sick Mind

ok, they found the hidden enemy ship. so things are maybe moving forward. also really telling that they'll try a rescue of someone they don't know over hitting the enemy they know they have.

a plague ship. such a cool idea. so sad that it's currently probably a bit bad taste to use for things like ttrpgs. though if it's like a necrotic disease. zombies that turn you into zombies by biting you it's probably fine to use.

oh, inside someone's brain episode? really liked those in the owl house, lets see how they visualize it and what they do with it.

"i have thoroughly researched the theoretical literature" and today in least confidence boosting sentences.

interesting it's bumblebee and nor rc. i wonder why.

damn, smart play by bumbles, smart counterplay by megatron. not smart enough. really cool.

not to inventive with the visuals, but probably the coolest episode so far, maybe with predatory. and damn that cliffhanger.

Out of His Head

powerplays between the two people conspiring together. very interesting dynamic.

ok, megatron is back, things do move... and no one seems to be too bothered about it atm. i'm guessing that's what the next episode starts with.

Shadowzone

oh damn, starstream going to use the dark energon in desperation to be level the playingfield.

oh hey, people being out of phase, i recently saw this startreck episode. damn, and they left most of a zombie in the other phase. that'll be interesting for the future.

Operation: Breakdown

damn, how much transformer gore will we see in this one? just one lose eye and where it was supposed to go, kind of a letdown

Crisscross

fucking hell this episode is going brutal. more brutal then the breakdown episode.

Metal Attraction

damn, first instance of damage being permanent.

so they try to make the mom look bad by being over protective. but we don't get any sense that most recon missions go perfectly smoothly and safely. now i'm sure that's like characters in stories going to the toilet, but it does make it feel like they are very often dangerous making the mom seem more then reasonable. they also try to make RC seem over protective even though she takes them on missions she believes are safe and sends them back when dangers shows. i don't think they'll make the conclusion stick well.

i wonder how permanent they'll make those very neat retributive cuts. she seems like the type who'd keep them until she killed the one that gave them.

oh, his dad left... i though he might have died... that's either a much stronger stance, or his father will be revealed later making it much less interesting because we've seen that dozens of times. and they didn't make them worrying the bad thing they did, but instead not accepting change. surprisingly well handled.

Rock Bottom

not like this (be burried under a metric fuckton of rock and then drilled to death)... why not? a swift, easy end to one of the biggest threats. boring for the series? sure. but they could have made it saving before attacking and it would have made total sense.

Partners

i just realized the autobots make for a pretty standard 5 man band... sort of. some are easy. like bulkhead is the obvious big buy, ratchet is the obvious smart guy. now arcee and optimus are obvious leader and lancer. but you could question who's who. for the leader optimus is rather rarely the focus... but yea no he's the leader. and arcee is a neat lancer being the smallest compared to the largest, nimble and dodging instead of standing his grown and tanking. which would make bumblebee the heart which makes total sense.

if anyone would turn coat starscream would make some sense... but also not as he'd want to tripplecross. however he thinks he'll get more.

T.M.I.

damn this episode felt like one of the writers was struggling trough a family member suffering dementia.

Stronger, Faster

i think i remember this episode. unless the energy problem keeps coming up.

i mean... is what he's saying not true though? he's saying it like an asshole, sure, but what did he say that was wrong?

are you really giving the decepticons two corrupted forms of energon? seems redundant.

One Shall Rise, Part 1.

the only vagally reasonable natural threat to europe is something weird that kills power. sorry, it's just bizarre how safe Europe is compared to the rest of the world. this is not a flex, Europe is life on easy mod.

on the one side that's some cool lore. on the other i'd love it if for once something was called "the blood of X" and it's just myth, nothing more. not the plot twist of "the blood of X was Actually the blood of X and not just a fancy name".

One Shall Rise, Part 3.

damn, that's one hell of a cliffhanger for season 2. sure, the threat is defeated, but now the decepticons have optimus.

[ardeawritten]

Present analysis of my ever-evolving ever-the-WIP YA Comfort Series Project headworld series thing, in more or less book elevator pitches:

-Book 1 is David's coming-of-age story and him going from 13-year-old hoodlum to 14-year-old honest kid who wants to grow up and take his family name and fulfill the legacy his heroic father left behind

-Book 2 is him putting that choice to the test as he learns his friends' true identities (no one is what they look like on the outside) and his mother's ~problematic~ backstory, especially as those identities start causing rifts, tension and violence within his peer group

-Book 3 is a small revenge plot as he and his peer group solidify around a common tragedy and take 'justice' into their own hands, and realize their conflicts are mirroring what's going on in the adult world around them. Specifically, they are being used as surrogates to play out adult political tensions and it's starting to cost lives

-Book 4 is him and his rival going on a road trip so things can cool off, with the narrative following them as they find out what the world outside their country looks like and decide what future they're fighting for

-Book 5 is him and his rival, now allies, taking the fight back home and deciding if they're going to be made pawns then they're going to run the game themselves. They launch a 'silent war' within their peer group to break up a political juggernaut that is forcing their country towards civil war

-Book 6 is everyone in the group realizing the political capital they need is going to cost them all on a personal level- every choice to forgive and every new alliance is a betrayal to someone else- but the cost is worth the progress towards lasting internal peace and social safety and that whose flag flies overhead matters very little compared to the life and freedom of the people you love (and then they 'crown' the wrong person, cause mass political chaos and declare their country a free confederate of all peoples or some-such and roll off to present a unified front to the encroaching army next door etc. etc.)

This is more or less the same six-book plot I wrote fifteen years ago, but the adult perspective is taking the Dragons! Swordfights! Action! plot points and turning it into a story about kids learning to value people over symbols, seeing past the surface in each other and accepting what they find there, and choosing to protect the rising diversity of their homeland, as represented by the friend group, over the 'rightful ruler/rightful people' vision that has dominated their ancestors.

Everyone in the cast has secrets, has lied to each other, has made mistakes and caused pain. Their parents are warriors, assassins, criminals, murderers, lawyers and slavers, but their parents also love their kids and want the best for them, and all those 'best' visions are incompatible with one another. It's about looking at that parent generation and saying "we will not grow up to be you and we will not repeat your mistakes, even if that means burning the things you valued most; those are acceptable losses to build a better future for the people you hate but whom we've chosen to love."

(All this happens in a 'progressive fantasy' setting where dragons build airships, each people group has different hereditary magic powers, there's a parallel universe that is getting awfully close for comfort and an evil demon is plotting to take over the world...)

[mira--mira]

Madara and Hashirama for the ask meme 👀

Hashirama

What I love about them:

I really love Hashirama's stubborn optimism. I say "stubborn" here bc I think after a certain point of pain in misery in someone's everyday life, in some way it is a choice to remain optimistic despite that suffering. I don't characterize Hashirama as constantly happy and he can recognize the more realistic/pessimistic possibilities, he just refuses to accept them. I have it in my notes for OoT but haven't worked it in verbatim but Madara would call him "ruthlessly optimistic " and while that's tinged with Madara's own bias, I think it fits quite well.

What I hate about them:

Hashirama is stubbornly optimistic LOL. It's a double-edged sword and I think by the time he reached adulthood in a canon setting, Hashirama was so desperate for there to be peace he maintained his "everything will work out" attitude when he otherwise shouldn't have. There were the concerns with Madara and the Uchiha, his own brothers views that he certainly should have recognized could become a problem, and, after depending on when Tobirama took on students/how old they were, the possibility of biases being passed down and a Danzo like figure coming to power. However this was not Hashirama's responsibility alone to fix. I don't think, despite his love, Hashirama alone could have kept Madara in a village that hated him and a clan that distrusted him. Tobirama was an adult and let his own bias pass under a veil of "logic" and passed that, either intentionally or unintentionally down to his students. None of this is Hashirama's fault, but I think part of the canon story being a tragedy was he was blinded by a bright, hopeful future that he failed to see the early signs right in front of him.

Favorite Moment/Quote:

"To me, Madara was like a gift from the divine."

Even thinking about it makes me melt. It's so sweet and really emphasizes how much Madara means to him. 🥺

What I would like to see more focus on:

In fics? Hashirama's mental health and how his childhood affected him. Most of the long fics I've read focus on Madara. Which I understand, Madara has an arc into becoming a villain while Hashirama is just kinda "there" and it's easy for him to fulfill a support role to helping Madara in canon Au fics. A sort of unshakeable, always optimistic stone for Madara to depend on and stop his downward spiral into villainy. But, what makes hashimada so great for me is that Madara and Hashirama are equals. There will be times one falters and needs to depend on the other, and they're capable of giving each other that support. It'd also be great to see Hashirama struggle yet continue to choose optimism and compassion time after time because that feels more weighty and important than an eternally optimistic characterization that never wavers.

Headcanon wise...this isn't something I've found but desperately want to see (and will come up in all of my own aus) is the connection between the god tree and the god of shinobi who's famed ninjutsu is wood release and who's cells can be used for everything under the sun and are specifically needed to control the gedo statue / ten-tails. 👀 Look when I got back into Naruto and only vaguely knew about the war arc plot I thought Kishimoto was Doing Something with that. He was not. I am.

What I would like to see less focus on:

This is pretty much mentioned above but Hashirama as mainly a support for Madara rather than getting his own (non romantic) arcs in long canon Au fics. Headcanon wise, this is such a small nitpick, but Hashirama constantly being the one described as warm whereas Madara is cold. The big tree can *retain* heat, but he pales in comparison to Madara's ability to *generate* heat.

Favorite pairing with:

Hashimada (Hashirama x Madara)

No one should be surprised. I can wax prose about this for days but it's about ultimately finding someone else in a terrible world that *understands* you that you can grow with and support. I'm a sucker for friends to lovers and battle couples so guess what's right up my alley?

Favorite friendship:

Canon/BoaF- Hashirama & Mito

I know Madara & Mito is more popular, and I do love their dynamic but christ Hashirama needs friends outside Madara and Tobirama and I think they'd be good friends. Canon!Mito would provide a good level-headed perspective and wouldn't have the messy, complicated history like the three founders have together and it'd be good for Hashirama to get a break from that. BoaF!Mito and Hashirama are cousins their relationship eventually progresses to a sibling-like bond. They’re quite protective of each other and gossip endlessly together. Mito’s not as good as gardening, but they do it together and incorporate Uzumaki sealing techniques for certain houseplant decorations. Mito also might know about Madara 👀 

OoT-Hashirama & Sakura or Hashirama & Sai

His and Sakura's relationship is p similar to how I would characterize his and Mito's but with the added hilarity of Sakura being his "student" yet having 0 deference for him once they actually get to the "teaching" part (surprise: Hashirama's most uttered lines are "you do the thing, you know the thing, you know you just...do it. The thing. Madara "translates" a lot of their sessions.) Hashirama and Sai antagonize each other constantly and he *will* tease Sai into oblivion as any older brother would. Tobirama never reacted to Hashirama's mischief in ~fun~ ways and he felt bad about messing with Itama, who was even more emotional than he was and Kawarama, who hero-worshipped him. Sai is the perfect "if anyone messes with you I will personally make them regret being born yet *I* will tease you mercilessly to my hearts content" kind of little brother.

NOTP:

Hashitobi (Hashirama x Tobirama)

I don't do incest. At all. Even "non-incest" aus where they aren't technically related squick me out.

Favorite headcanon:

Hashirama can Speak to the trees.

Either humorously or seriously, I love this kinda, sorta, maybe not quite human power.

.

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Madara

What I love about them:

Madara is kind and does his best to do what he thinks is right. The “kind” point is a lot of Hashirama talking/flashbacks and the “good” intention behind the Infinite Tsukuyomi. Making everyone a “winner” in the dreamworld, while absolutely insane and full of holes, is odd for a villain’s motivation. His role in the war arc is mostly focused on watching him wreck absolutely everyone he comes into contact with but I love Hashirama’s flashbacks and the glimpses of kid!Madara we get. Madara believed in his philosophy from a lifetime of pain that ended in him losing everything and being manipulated but he was still seeking a way to “help” the most people he could. He’s such a rich character that makes it easy to want to imagine other what-if scenarios where things turned out just a bit differently.

What I hate about them:

Madara takes all responsibility onto himself. This is more speculation because we don’t get Madara’s POV of his childhood or any significant scenes with the clan. However, I think this is one of the primary roots of most of Madara’s problems. If he blamed himself for mistakes that weren’t technically his, he could get into a cycle where he only blames himself and doesn’t seek help/support when he should have and purposefully reduces his support circle because he becomes paranoid that he won’t be able to protect them. A smaller issue that is both about Madara and not is he didn’t fall victim to the Talk no Jutsu, but was Madara aware of what was happening when he was possessed(?) by Kaguya? I forgot but if he wasn’t...I don’t think he’d agree Hashirama’s way was the right way at the end, merely his way was wrong. Because, in Madara’s point of view, the village may have been “better” (used very loosely) than becoming food/power for an alien goddess but it wasn’t good. It wasn’t the solution. Hashirama saying they were both wrong in some way saved the scene but Madara still jumped back to Hashirama’s dream being the right one too quickly imo. 

Favorite Moment/Quote:

“What are you going to do about the second [meteor] Onoki?” 

I’m sorry, that was just hilarious. We see this man slaughter an entire division and drop a meteor from the sky...two kages desperately try to stop it and it looks like they managed to succeed and he just...cool. What about the second? Really cemented Madara is Here and he is Dramatic. A close second fav is him flying across the battlefield to confront Hashirama only for the “I’ll deal with you later” line. 

What I would like to see more focus on:

I really love it when fics fill in the blanks of Madara’s childhood/his time with the Uchiha so that’s always a plus for me. The other thing is Hashirama calls Madara a “fundamentally kind man” and according to Tobirama the Uchiha feel love “too deeply” so I like fics that do focus on these aspects of Madara’s personality while staying true to his prickly demeanor. For headcanons I love, love, love exploring kekkei genkai/ninjutsu/genjutsu and how they individually affect people/clans. Digging deeper so that “fire affinity” means constantly running hot/pushing into possibly having fire resistance/unable to distinguish “too hot” / or even affinity acting like a secondary blood type so even if two people had AB blood if one had a water affinity and the other fire their blood would be incompatible. Also the mundane ways powers can be used (I have some Ideas for non-combat genjustu applications that the Uchiha use and those will come up in OoT 👀)

What I would like to see less focus on:

This again kinda ties into the Hashirama segments, but Madara completely depending on Hashirama and Hashirama alone for happiness. Especially in long AUs where he’s still in Konoha but has a poor relationship with the Uchiha. That’s fine starting out! But if the fic ends or doesn’t seriously work on improving that relationship it just sits a bit weird with me bc I don’t think Madara could be truly happy in that situation. (NSFW start) The other thing I see commonly is Madara is extremely passive/submissive in bed with Hashirama which is...weird to me? There’s also a reoccurring thing where he doesn’t have a lot of experience but Hashirama does and this leads to embarrassment and the aforementioned passive/submissiveness. I understand lack of experience can be embarrassing and I do believe Madara could be embarrassed, but instead of withdrawing into himself I think he’d push through it with something close to bravado and his usual single-minded intensity, for better or worse. I do think Madara usually bottoms in his and Hashirama’s relationship but both of them are as enthusiastic about sex as they are fighting and neither is especially submissive or dominant. (NSFW end)

Favorite pairing with:

Hashimada (Hashirama x Madara)

See absolutely everything else 😂 

Favorite friendship:

Canon/BoaF- Madara & Naori or Madara & Hikkaku 

I really like focusing on the Uchiha clan and exploring the dynamics within it. We get nothing about Madara’s early life outside of Hashirama so this is almost completely speculation. For the angst of canon, I like Madara being close to his clan only to lose them after his friendship with Hashirama is revealed bc he awakened his sharingan over Hashirama and that can’t be easily hidden. For BoaF, a large part of it is exploring the clans’ cultures before they made the village so this necessitates actually fleshing out said clans. Naori and Izuna are v similar in personality and both live to prank Madara and annoy him, but they hardly ever team up bc they start squabbling amongst themselves. Hikakku is stoic and calm in contrast to Naori’s mania and Madara’s intensity but he keeps track of every little favor and Madara dreads the day he’ll act on them because he knows it’ll result in something embarrassing for him. But like all BoaF!Uchiha, they’re fiercely protective of one another and you really don’t want to insult the wrong person. 

OoT - Madara & Naruto or Madara & Sai

I really Madara and Naruto’s dynamic, it’s very entertaining and fun for me to write and they’re both positive influences on each other. Madara gets more people to smother with his brand of affection and Naruto gets early recognition and training. Their weird non-training shenanigans (coupon collecting, gaming, etc.) also is p amusing. Madara and Sai have a similar relationship but I really like writing theirs from Sai’s POV bc he insists that he doesn’t feel close/like when Madara treats him like a little brother when he really does. 

NOTP:

Madatobi (Madara x Tobirama)

Logically, I know why this pairing is popular. Fanfic is saturated with the enemies to lovers trope yet emotionally I Do Not Understand it. Personally, I don’t enjoy toxic relationships, to read or write. And, to me, that’s what a close canon Madara and Tobirama pairing would be. Tobirama tried to convince Hashirama to kill him, he killed Izuna, even if it was in war, and I don’t think Madara could or would get over that. If Tobirama has similar attitudes about the Uchiha it makes it worse. AUs exist to rewrite this, of course, but I still don’t enjoy their romantic chemistry. At best, I like Tobirama and Madara as reluctant frenemies who insult each other and try to one-up each other. 

Favorite headcanon:

Madara is fire proof. 

I have a whole rant about this in OoT’s author notes 😂 Sasuke’s Amaterasu should have been a serious threat when it hit him. Instead the man just lets his clothes fall off then kicks their asses. He’s fire proof.

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In response to the ask game:

[agentnico]

Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021) Review

It all started with Sonic’s teeth. Ever since fans successfully bullied a studio into reanimating their titular hedgehog character after the abomination shown in the first trailer, fans realised that rallying together (on Twitter) can make a difference. So you’d think it would mean we could all come together to restore world peace and get rid of racism, injustice, poverty, war and negativity of all kind? Nope, nope it does not. But at least we get a better version of a bad DC movie that came out in 2017. I mean, baby steps I guess.

Plot: Fuelled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman's selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists newfound ally Diana Prince to face an even greater threat. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to recruit a team to stand against this newly awakened enemy. Despite the formation of an unprecedented league of heroes -- Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and the Flash -- it may be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions.

I recall my younger simpler self in 2017 at the early age of 20 soon to be 21, sitting down and watching the new Justice League film with zero to no expectations, as by that point the DC Extended Universe was a trainwreck and was a franchise that was literally falling apart before out unblinking red hay fever filled eyes. However, after watching Justice League I was baffled at the fact that I still managed to be disappointed after having zero expectations! With zero expectations this film took me into the minuses, and we all know I’m not great at mathematics so boy are we in the danger zone when we hit the minuses! Looking back at my review of the film back then, I used extreme yet fitting comments like “generic”, “predictable” “messy” and plain “dogsh*t”. Which is what it was. 2017′s Justice League is exactly how I’d imagine a dog’s poop would look if it was turned into an abstract film! It was truly abysmal. After that I thought I’d never have to talk about this film again. How wrong I was. But, in a rare turn of tables, I am glad that I was wrong...

A little history lesson first. Alright, settle down kids, settle down.... Rob, put the paper plane down, do not throw it, I said DON’T THROW IT! NO! Stop! Stupid child!! Headteacher’s office right now! Also, say hi to your mother for me, okay? I’m having brunch with her on Saturday and you better not be there as you should be doing your homework watching the 4 hour cut of Justice League and questioning your life choices!! Anyway, now let’s have ourselves a history lesson. The topic is - What In The Flying Fudge Happened Behind-The-Scenes Of Justice League For DUMMIES: Condensed Edition. A really condensed version as honestly none of us have the attention span to read loads and I’m probably losing the vast majority of you due to this overlong rambling session. So anyway, to the last couple of readers left, here we go! Following the success of Man of Steel, Warner Bros. gave Zack Snyder the reigns to oversee and create a DC cinematic universe to rival the success of Marvel. And so came Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, which turned out to be a bit of a hodgepodge, receiving mixed to negative reviews and though was a box office success, earned diminishing results to what Warner Bros. originally anticipated. However, by the time Batman V Superman released, Zack Snyder was already hard at work on the big superhero team up film Justice League (which was meant to set up many characters and future films for the DCEU) with a lot of filming already underway, so Warner Bros. couldn’t particularly pump the breaks on it by that point, even though they evidently lost trust in the Snyder formula. To be honest, at that point I too lost trust in Snyder’s vision and the DCEU as a whole, but my opinion doesn’t class for a single dime, whilst the opinions of Warner Bros. executives make millions, so there aren’t any hard feelings on my behalf for them not enquiring on my thoughts. Anyway, midway through production Zack Snyder was hit with a family tragedy with his daughter committing suicide, so Snyder naturally had to depart the project to be with his family during this grieving time. Warner Bros. had the option to pause production and await for Snyder’s return, or progress at their own accord. Naturally they decided to do their own thing cause they are a business and want that dollar dollar bill baby!! So they hired Joss Whedon who was riding fresh off the success of two Avengers movies and obviously had experience in cinematic universes and such, to rework the Justice League movie by condensing it into a 2 hour film (from the over 4 hour material that Snyder shot) and reshoot scenes to fit the smaller runtime. So you cannot particularly blame Whedon for taking out so many great scenes as he had a contract to fulfil with Warner Bros, but then you look at the many forced jokes and unnecessary reshot scenes and you realise how self-indulgent Joss Whedon was during filming, as he basically was spitting on everything Snyder did and was trying to do his own thing. Low and behold, the mess that is the 2017 movie is created, where its the visions and creative minds of two director with evidently different styles clashing and not really mixing well at all, and as such we have a messy movie that doesn’t really make sense and is a bit of a middle finger to DC fans and honestly everyone and all. Also, there was that little aspect of Henry Cavill’s deformed upper lip due to the fact that during reshoots he had a moustache that he’d grown and was contractually obligated to have for his Mission Impossible role, so the visual effects team had to digitally remove it in post production and the result is, well, see for yourself...

Yes, they made the dashing handsome my-sexuality-questioning Henry Cavill look stupid, and that is UNFORGIVABLE. Funny, yes, very funny but unforgivable!! So for this and many other reasons the 2017 film turned out horribly. Then after that many months later, Zack Snyder and cast and crew members began teasing of this mythical version of the movie that was befit of Snyder’s original vision. You see, apparently before he left the project, Snyder actually filmed everything he wanted and it was only awaiting to be reworked with visual effects and edited properly, but then Whedon came in with his scissors and cut everything mercilessly with a cheeky grin and his ginger beard. Speaking of his ginger beard, is Joss Whedon Irish? Or has Irish roots? Honestly, I would Google it, but wait, I don’t think I really care. So anyway, Snyder still had all of his filmed scenes saved on his ridiculously oversized hard drive just waiting to be looked at again. This is where the fandom did its magic by creating a Twitter hashtag #ReleaseTheSnyderCut and began spam posting for Warner Bros. to let Zack Snyder release what he originally intended to. Honestly, who would have thunk it, but this actually worked!! Warner Bros. allowed this, and not only that, but gave Snyder an additional $70 million to finish up the visual effects as well as to film a couple of additional sequences and gave it the prestigious honour to debut it on HBO Max, so as to boost the subscriber rating on Warner Bros. new streaming service. And here we are.

Honestly, I thought seeing this Director’s Cut of sorts wouldn’t bring much to the table as I didn’t believe that a film that was so broken had originally been in any way good. After finishing this 4 hour Snyder vision I must admit though that I was pleasantly surprised. Completely baffled by the studio and Joss Whedon, but really happy for Zack Snyder. The guy was fighting for it and finally was able to accomplish and bring out his true original vision, and though Zack Snyder’s Justice League has its flaws, its so much better than what we got in 2017, and in fact is a soaring science fiction sci-fi epic that literally feels epic!! It takes time establishing the characters and every single plot point as well as building out this rich mythology of this world of the DC Extended Universe, and so as you move into the second half of the film, there’s a feeling of pay off. You actually care about the characters and understand the plot points and it doesn’t feel rushed. Its truly astounding that there are producers out there who thought it was a good idea to get rid of all of that and instead bring out whatever the heck Joss Whedon did with the 2017 version. Look, I quite enjoy Joss Whedon’s work, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel to Cabin in the Woods and his work on Marvel, the guy obviously has a talent, but also he obviously does not belong to the dark and brooding style of DC. Zack Snyder on the other hand, though makes his mistakes, truly embraces the epic feel of the DC material. And it seems once you give Snyder enough time and space, he can actually bring out something like this:

The main characters are all given so much more to do, or at least those that got side-lined in the 2017 version are given more to do here. One of my complaints with the original was how pointless the League turns out to be. Basically in the theatrical version the main team all end up being useless and only once Superman shows up he saves everyone’s asses and literally does EVERYTHING. Might as well have called the film Man of Steel 2 (feat. Justice League). However in this new version, every main character serves a purpose. Well most of them do at least. Cyborg and Flash are much more compelling characters with more layers and backstory, and in fact are a prime reason to defeating the great evil in the end. You now understand why Cyborg actor Ray Fisher was pissed at Joss Whedon, as the guy literally got rid of his best stuff. Superman strikes a cool black suit and is still powerful, however as the finale shows, he isn’t all-powerful and does need the help of the rest of the team. Wonder Woman gets a lot more to do in this theatrical cut, and in fact this is probably Gal Gadot’s best performance as Wonder Woman and she really shows herself as a powerful female superhero! Aquaman’s role stays largely unchanged, however to be honest Jason Momoa’s character was one of the only ones who didn’t suffer in the theatrical cut. That’s unsurprising seeing as Jason Momoa is such a naturally cool dude! A big panda that is friendly in real life, but when necessary can turn into a roaring bear. To be honest, the only League member that ends up a bit pointless is actually Batman. He still serves a purpose in the film in that he’s the one who assembles the team, but otherwise the rest of the group is so overpowered compared to him that in the end you do kind of think that he doesn’t really belong there. Still, Ben Affleck is great in the role and it’s a shame we won’t see much of him past Flashpoint film that will be released in the next few years.

There are a lot of characters in this film and one can still say the movie is overstuffed, but also seeing as the movie was originally intended to spring board the DCEU properly, all these teases are actually welcome. There are an abundance of cameos, and to be honest so many characters are so well cast that you do end up wishing that Snyder was given the opportunity to make his entire Justice League planned trilogy, but nevertheless at least we have this. There are truly an abundance of cool appearances here, from the menacing villain Darkseid (played by Ray Porter) to Willem Dafoe doing what Dafoe does best, only in this case underwater and I’m certain that’s gonna span many comparison memes with The Lighthouse. Joe Morton as Cyborg’s dad is given a lot more to do here and in fact is pivotal towards building up Cyborg into the important character that he is. There’s also a cameo from Jared Leto’s Joker, who in some ways redeems himself after his appearance in Suicide Squad. Also, we need to talk about Steppenwolf, who’s the main baddie in this film. In the theatrical cut the guy was the most generic one-note villain who also looked like a PS2 character. It was honestly embarrassing the way he was animated. Luckily in this version he’s been put through enough Skyrim mods to looks much more intimidating and is also given a better motivation. As we find out, the reason he does what he does is because he wants to go home. He’s been banished and he simply wants to earn his place back home, so it’s actually kind of sweet. Steppenwolf is a sweetie. I mean, yeah, he wants to destroy half of the world to fulfil his dream, but hey, haven’t we all taken something extreme measures to get what we want?

The film is far from perfect though. At the end of the day, the movie is just about a guy hunting down a bunch of magical boxes. That was the premise of the theatrical cut and its the same here too. Yes, there is more substance and gravitas to the proceedings, but at the end of the day the story doesn’t really surprise much. And with the entire thing running at 4 hours, it is definitely too long and there is the element where there is simply too much in this thing. Also visually, though the movie has plenty of gorgeous shots and Zack Snyder’s signature slow motion sequences are on full display here, there are still many sequences where the CGI and green screen are super obvious and look really fake. That being said there’s still so much visual goodness in this, and also I have to mention Junkie XL’s new music score that does reiterate the epic feel of this movie, in comparison to Danny Elfman’s weak uninspiring notes in the theatrical cut.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League is a massive surprise and completely changes the perception of what we saw in the original 2017 theatrical cut. It’s a sprawling massive adventure that’s a dream come true for any comic book fan. It shows how vital film editing is, and how important it is to have a cohesive plan when making a movie. Gone too are the silly forced jokes, and though there is still some humour here, it feels more grounded and fit of the setting and scenario. This is Snyder’s vision through and through, and though at times it is clunky, it overall is incredible to behold, as it’s this one guy’s mind and his love for the DC lore. It’s a credible achievement, and I’m actually sentimentally happy for Snyder that he finally managed to complete this. He even during the credits dedicates this to his daughter Autumn that passed away, and I found that to be truly bittersweet. Justice has indeed been served.

Overall score: 7/10

[mst3kproject]

The Ape

In the vein of movies that should not be confused with eerily similar previous entries, The Ape is distinct from The Ape Man... but not by much.  Both feature a slumming horror superstar, glandular secretions, and a stupid gorilla suit.  All these things also showed up in early seasons of MST3K, of course, and The Ape Man also has a surprise bonus.  Apparently, the guy in the gorilla costume is none other than Crash Corrigan, of Undersea Kingdom!

Long ago, Dr. Adrien lost his daughter to polio, and ever since he's been obsessed with finding a cure.  That sounds pretty noble, but unfortunately, Adrien is a mad doctor, so the cure he comes up with requires killing healthy people to drain them of their cerebralspinal fluid!  In order not to arouse suspicion, he kills and skins a gorilla that escaped from a circus, and wears its hide when he murders people... you know, as one does. To nobody's surprise but his, he ends up getting shot, but hey, at least he cured beautiful young Frances' paralysis!

This is a weird, dumb movie but one thing I can say in its favour is that everybody seems to have given it a good try.  This material was far beneath Boris Karloff but he takes it seriously and actually gets a couple of decent moments, as does Maris Wrixton (who was also in The Face of Marble) as Frances.  Nobody else is even close to Karloff's level, being just bland 40's actors who talk too fast, but none of the main cast are phoning it in, either.

Conversely, the worst thing in the movie is its truly horrendous gorilla suit.  The puppet face shows the actor's eyes and can curl its lip, which is cool, though the features don't look very gorilla-ish.  The rest of the suit, however, is terrible. It's way too shaggy and in order to give it a gorilla-like silhouette, they stuck a big hunchback on it.  This might have worked if Corrigan had tried to walk on all fours like gorillas actually do, but instead he waddles along upright like a toddler with a full diaper, which ruins it.  The people who made the movie also appear to think gorillas are nocturnal which, for the record, they are not.

Gorillas were kind of a big thing in movies of the 40's and 50's.  The species had been scientifically described a century earlier, but hadn't really been studied until the 1920s and most people had never seen one outside of King Kong. Films of the period were not kind to the gorilla.  One of the first gorilla movies was 1930's Ingagi, which purported to be a documentary about gorillas kidnapping women as sex slaves.  That kind of set the tone, and subsequent movies depicted gorillas as creatures prone to violence and rape.  Examples from this blog alone are numerous: The Ape Man (1940), Panther Girl of the Kongo (1955), and Bride of the Gorilla (1951) for starters... Robot Monster (1953) might also count.

The Ape has a slightly more nuanced approach to gorilla behaviour.  Yes, its gorilla does maul people to death... but the first victim is its trainer, who has been shown mistreating it.  Another circus employee even tries to tell him that he'll catch more flies with honey.  When the ape batters its way into Dr. Adrien's house, it does so in order to get at the trainer's coat, which Adrien left draped over a chair when the dying man was brought to him for treatment.  We see far more fear of the escaped ape than we do of the animal itself, and it does not commit near as many murders as Adrien does while dressed in its skin!

So that's halfway progressive for the 1940s.  We can also look at the treatment of Frances, the wheelchair-user partially paralyzed by polio.  She is clearly meant to be an object of the audience's pity, and Adrien is obsessed with making her able to walk again – as he could not do for his own daughter.  To some extent the movie infantilizes her, as she is clearly dependent on her mother, unable to have much of a social life, and her boyfriend Danny professes his willingness to 'take care of her'.  When she regains movement in her legs at the end of the movie, she and her mother immediately burn her wheelchair.  Apparently she's not allowed to build up her stamina slowly... if she walks ten minutes from home and then can't continue, she's just gotta sit there until she recovers or somebody finds her.

On the other hand, Frances' family aren't trying to force Adrien's possible cure on her, but let her choose it for herself. Her mother doesn't mind looking after her, and Danny is happy to accommodate her by, for example, hiring a cart so she can accompany him to the circus.  Danny in particular is very suspicious of the fact that the injections Adrien gives to Frances are causing her pain, and takes the doctor to task for it, telling him he would rather have her disabled and happy than walking but in pain.  “I'd rather carry her around all my life!” he says.  Her loved ones are willing to try for the cure, but it doesn't seem like anyone will be miserable if it fails.  Frances herself wistfully admires the acrobats at the circus, but shows no anger or bitterness that she cannot be like them.

Frances is even allowed some initiative, as she hurries down the road in her wheelchair calling to Dr. Adrien and trying to warn him that the gorilla is in the area.  This, ironically, is what leads to Adrien getting shot, as it attracts the attention of the posse hunting the animal.  But as Adrien lies dying, he gets to see Frances standing for the first time in ten years, so I guess we're meant to think this was all worth it.

But was it?  Several people died in order to provide the spinal fluid that helped Frances heal.  The movie shows them as terrified of Dr. Adrien and/or the gorilla, but other than that it is oddly uninterested in their fates.  None of the deaths are presented as tragedies, with families left in mourning... the only family we hear about for the gorilla trainer is a father who is already dead, and another one of the victims was an asshole who told his wife if she didn't like him cheating on her she could always drown herself(!??).  So... are we supposed to think they don't matter?  That their deaths are acceptable because they helped Frances – who was not dying or even deteriorating, and was satisfied with her life as it was – to a cure?

It is notable that we do not see what happens when Frances finds out that people had to die for her to be able to walk.  She would have to reassess her opinion of Dr. Adrien, whom until now she has thought of as a loving father figure.  She would have to figure out what this means for her future and perhaps need reassurance that she is not culpable.  Her unconcerned happiness at the end suggests that nobody bothered to tell her, and that she has not yet made the connection herself.  This is really quite unfortunate, because it deprives Frances of her only real chance to be a character rather than a plot point – which is ultimately all she is here.

Nobody else is shown dealing with the aftermath, either.  The town has long mistrusted Dr. Adrien because of rumours that he was experimenting on his patients, and a recent spate of missing dogs is shown to be his fault.  An early scene shows a group of boys bothering the doctor by throwing rocks at his house (which made me wonder if toilet paper hadn't been invented yet. According to Wikipedia, it dates to 1857, so there's your Fun Fact for the day). Seeing their worst fears realized really ought to have some effect on the people.  Even if nobody bothers to tell Frances how her miraculous cure was effected, others will surely figure it out and have to weigh up what he achieved versus the crimes he committed to get there.

Yeah, I know: this is a movie about a guy killing people while wearing a dead gorilla.  I'm thinking too hard.

Finally, I want to note some interesting possible connections between The Ape and a number of other movies I've seen.  Both The Ape and The Ape Man appear to have been inspired by the 1932 movie Murders in the Rue Morgue, which also features a gorilla and injections of bodily fluids in the name of mad science, and did not feature very much resemblance to Edgar Allen Poe's story of the same name.  I don't know if these films directly inspired each other, and it's been ages since I saw Rue Morgue... but the combination of plot elements here seems weirdly specific to be something different people came up with independently.  I should watch all three again and see if I notice any more similarities between them.

There are also interesting likenesses between The Ape and another Boris Karloff movie, 1945's The Grave Robber.  The latter is the story of a doctor who needs fresh corpses as part of his research, which culminates in surgery to allow a paralyzed girl to walk again.  The doctor in this film is more a victim than a villain, himself, as he finds that the man he's been paying to rob graves for him is actually murdering the homeless, and he can't expose this criminal without jeopardizing his work and incriminating himself.  It's been a long time since I saw this movie, either (as I mentioned a few weeks ago, I've had some shit going on and I haven't had a lot of time for movies, bad or otherwise), so I can't actually say if it's better than The Ape, but it's definitely less silly.

Anyway, the moral of this story is vaccinate your fucking kids or a gorilla will kill you.

[opbackgrounds]

I would love it if you did a post on Brook and why he is awesome

Okay, so first things, like Robin, my love for Brook is in no way objective. I love music, and as a kid I took lessons for violin, piano, viola, and cello. I know how to sing an alto line and will listen to just about anything once, just to know what it sounds like. There are few things that give me more joy than learning about new artists or interments. I’m going to get into this more once we hit the Skypiea arc, but One Piece has a surprising musicality for a medium that doesn’t convey sound. Yes, the anime exists, but Oda has gone out of his way to make music an important part of a story that’s originally nothing but paper and ink, and I think that’s something that’s worth talking about.

More than that, I’ve been a nurse for almost ten years now, and I’ve worked that entire time in long term care. My entire career is based around taking care of old people, and in some ways Brook reminds me of some of the residents I’ve had, many of whom have passed on. 

Most shonen series are focused on characters who are kids. It makes sense—they’re the same age as the target audience, and therefore easy to relate to. Heck, the first six crew members are teenagers when they’re introduced, and I’m sure that was intentional on Oda’s part. 

But since then, each new Straw Hat Pirate has been an adult, with adult circumstances and problems. Brook, in particular, deals with trauma that is almost always unique to his stage of life. 

There is a specific type of grief that comes with aging that’s hard to describe unless you deal with it every day. It’s quieter, less noticeable to the point other people tend to forget about it unless you bring it up. Which in turn tends to exacerbate everyone around you, because why should you still be sad that your siblings died 15 years ago, or your last surviving friend just got diagnosed with cancer, or you’re not able to do the things you once enjoyed because of your arthritis? You’re old. That’s what happens to old people. 

(As an aside, I think we as a culture could stand to be nicer to the elderly, but that’s a topic for another day.)

Brook is an old man. He has literally died and come back to life and has outlived everyone he knew from Before. The tragedy of his story isn’t a punch in the gut like it is for a lot of One Piece flashbacks, but the slowly dawning horror when you realize that he was alone for fifty years. 

Fifty. Years. 

I wrote on my main once about how Brook’s backstory and induction into the crew is written differently than the other Straw Hats (https://creative-type.tumblr.com/post/166349846101/tragedy-without-melodrama). His flashback comes at the very end of Thriller Bark, after the climax of the story. Imagine getting Robin’s backstory after “I wanna live” or Nami’s after the walk to Arlong Park. It just doesn’t work. 

That’s because Brook’s flashback is about closure. The audience already knows his connection to Laboon. We already know how he came to be a skeleton. We already know why his ‘fro is so important to him. We know all there is to know, so Oda lets the Rumbar Pirates have their swan song with grace and dignity, allowing Brook to move seamlessly into his second chance at life. 

There are three Straw Hats that deal with the theme of loneliness in some way: Chopper, Robin, and Brook. Chopper was rejected, Robin persecuted, and Brook was physically isolated. There’s no doubting that sailing alone on a broken ship with nothing but the bones of his dead friends for company took its toll (I for one don’t think Brook’s completely sane) but despite struggling with his burden of loneliness the longest, Brook doesn’t have the angst Robin and Chopper suffered through during their main arcs. He has somehow remained unflinchingly, relentlessly positive and optimistic, despite having every reason not to be. He says it best during his introduction—He’s just glad to be alive.

And again, maybe it’s because I deal with the elderly almost every day, but that means something to me. Getting old isn’t for the faint of heart, and while Brook doesn’t have the same ailments that tend to plague most older people, he’s never going to be mistaken as a regular person. He’s a living, breathing (without lungs!) skeleton. He clings to the only bit of him that remains unchanged from his first life because he’s terrified of what might happen if he relinquishes that last bit of normalcy, but he doesn’t obsess about what he’s lost. Instead he tries new things, makes new friends, goes out on a new adventure. Brook isn’t content to just be alive, he wants to truly live. 

It’s this mindset that helps us understand his role in the crew. There is nothing about Brook that is necessary. He’s a swordsmen whose skills pale to Zoro’s. The Straw Hats made it 400 chapters without him, and they could have gone 400 more if they had to. His dream in no way affects the main plot. But the Straw Hat Pirates without Brook is like life without music. Sure, you can get by, but he makes the good times better and the difficult times a little bit easier to bear, both with his music and by simple virtue of who he is as a person. 

I want to be Brook when I’m 90 years old. Heck, I’d consider it a win if I could be half as positive as he is. I’m so thankful Oda decided to include him in his story, because I think kids need to be exposed to characters who aren’t aren’t their age. 

There’s so much more I could cover here, but this is getting pretty long so I’ll end by saying I think Brook’s powers are cool as hell and I laugh at his stupid puns more often than I should. To see his progression from Thriller Bark to the confidence he displayed during Whole Cake Island was a delight, and I hope he gets more time to shine in Wano. I mean what good is getting old if you don’t use your privilege to sass Emperors?

And, no, his panty jokes to bother me. Like I said, my love for Brook is irrational, and I think he’s hilarious. I bet he’s got a collection of them hidden away somewhere from fan girls, and you know what? Good for him. 

[prettyboykatsuki]

hi! i just saw ur tier post and i’d love to hear more abt why you feel like gege doesn’t care about his characters/gen /nm. i genuinely love jjk so much, but this current arc (after shibuya) is kinda… idk. i’m not loving it but maybe that’s cus i’m not understanding it, however i don’t feel as “harshly” towards it as u do. it’s very interesting to see ur opinion though, i love discussing things like this.

as for bnha… i am very close to dropping it entirely. i’m anime only, so i cannot judge what’s going on in the manga, but how i don’t like how it’s currently going at all. the pacing is fucking awful. the entirety of s5 feels like a filler to me, i haven’t made it past ep9 bc it’s just so boring to me. i feel like for the last two seasons (so szn 4 and 5) nothing has REALLY happened. and ik that’s not true bc of all the stuff that happened with eri and overhaul, but it feels like nothing’s happened. and it saddens me because i grew really attached to the characters but i’m not sure i can continue the anime if it continues like this.

im gonna put this under a cut! please remember that these r my opinions and im not looking for a debate! we are just vibing here

it's pretty much confirmed that gege doesn't care about his characters cause he seems to hate so many of them. my biggest issue and why i feel this way / what confirmed this for me was personally naoya's death. i think after shibuya arc - watching shit hit the fan and seeing things progressively become worse was a pretty natural next step in the story

but the further we go into it, the more it feels like the story loses direction. it's tragedy for the sake of tragedy. it's hard for me to attach meaning to characters and their deaths when we really don't get a chance to garner feelings for their story in a way i feel is necessary.

i think the jjk story is heavily centered on despair - but to execute that, you have to display hope. despair exists in the absence of hope but if there's no hope at all than it's travesty for travesty sake

naoya is an asshole but the way he died was so... lackluster. his final moments were so pathetic and in my opinion uninteresting and i think that's a real shame because if he had a little more time, and wreaked a little more havoc - it could've been so cool. it didn't feel fleshed out to me and i think that's my issue with the story as a whole ig. a lot of the things i feel could be fleshed out really aren't

I DO LOVE JJK THO!! i love the characters and the concept and a good bit of the story, i just think more could be done yk

also with bnha - i don't particularly mind the slow pacing and i completely understand it being boring. a lot of people i know irl who are anime only have dropped it and i don't blame them!

if im not mistaken - this entire season will feel pretty empty up until the last few episodes if the anime tightly follows the manga. i wont tell you to watch though since i completely understand if you find it boring LMAO

in terms of shounen, the mha pacing is definitely not for anyone who enjoys more action heavy stories / plot heavy stories. i do think the story being so... boring right now though is 10000% on purpose because shit hits the fan very, very quickly.

i don't want to spoil anything for you since you are not reading the manga but i promise you things will not stay boring if you're curious. i think hks intent with the first few arcs was to demonstrate how uninteresting and calm things are before... shit happens!

shit will happen though and when it does, it's gonna be insane so it won't stay like this forever. in that case, it might not be worth dropping

given how the manga is im actually really grateful for how uneventful this season is genuinely. i almost wish things could continue like this forever

[rayofspades]

How to Write a Horror Story: The Magnus Archives

This post is kinda weird since most tumblr fandom content is based on the assumption that Everyone Has Seen The Thing, but since this is a transcript of a video essay, it’s more broad. 

I might link the video in a reblog since, you know, tumblr doesn’t like links.

Anyways, here’s the post:

Hello Jon, apologies for the decep-

I’ve seen a lot of mystery shows in my day, and some supernatural shows, and the common thread between them is that they kind of...fall apart as they go on. 

Obviously, this is a generalization and I haven’t seen every mystery show or every paranormal show, but it’s a pretty common problem. 

At this point in pop culture criticism, it’s basically common knowledge that these shows fall apart due to a lack of planning. If a mystery series is making shit up as it goes along while trying to surprise the audience, it’s going to stop making sense at some point. And if an episodic paranormal show is constantly trying to up the stakes, eventually it’s going to become absolutely ridiculous and stretch the audience’s suspension of disbelief past a breaking point. 

Other people have already talked about this stuff to death, but today I want to talk about a paranormal mystery show that actually succeeds at what it set out to do.  

The Magnus Archives is a podcast written by Jonny Sims and directed by Alexander J. Newall. It ran from 2016 to 2021 and it’s...really really good. It’s an episodic horror story, taking place at the fictional Magnus Institute where the head archivist reads various statements about people’s encounters with supernatural entities. It’s got it all; scary stories, mystery, an overarching plot, office comedy, office romance, office tragedy, a villain that’s making straight men everywhere question their sexuality, and an overall really solid structure. 

If you listen to the Q+As put out by the writer and director, you’ll hear them talk about how they planned the series from the beginning, setting up the layout for each season. Some things were definitely changed throughout the actual writing process; that’s just inevitable and necessary when you’re working on a long running show, but in a general sense, they knew where they were going. But, writing a good story doesn’t just involve knowing where you’re going; it’s about executing whatever plan you have effectively. And I think the execution of The Magnus Archives is pretty brilliant, so I want to talk about it. 

And for the record, I said “brilliant,” not “perfect.” I do have a lot of criticisms of this show, and I’m definitely going to talk about those too, because honestly? Even the problems with this show are interesting in their own right. 

Ok, let’s go. 

Oh, spoilers by the way. For the whole plot. Whole thing. 

Part 1: Horror and Mystery 

Ok, so The Magnus Archives has two separate plots going on: the episodic stories that can be listened to individually, and the underlying meta plot. The former is where most of the mystery storytelling takes place, and it’s a really engaging mystery. It’s starts off slow, and almost undetectable at first. The main character, Jon, also known as The Archivist, is just reading out old scary stories that people have delivered to the Magnus Institute. Stuff like; a college student sees a ghostly inhuman figure asking for a cigarette, a woman’s fiancé dies and she finds herself trapped in an empty graveyard, there’s this goth kid who apparently murdered his mother and then skinned her? But she’s kind of still alive? What the f*ck? Hope we never see that kid again. Also, this “Jurgen Lietner” guy wrote a bunch of cursed books and Jon knows about this? Are more books gonna come up? And then you’re like, wait is the goth kid who killed that burn victim the same goth kid who killed his mom like 8 episodes ago? Holy shit the family of that girl’s dead fiancé FUNDS THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE? Did this famous youtuber meet one of the missing people from episode one? The goth kid is back and he’s looking for Leitner books? The name “Michael” has come up like 6 times? Are they all the same guy? I just—who the f*ck is Jurgen Leitner? 

So yeah, as you can see, a lot of these stories connect in cool ways, and I’ve only mentioned like, 0.2 percent of all of those connections. Furthermore, these stories are told out of chronological order, and sometimes the same scenario appears in more than one statement, told from different perspectives. This asymmetrical storytelling and odd doling out of information creates a mystery that’s really interesting. It also makes for a great re-listen, since you can retroactively see what elements were set up before you even realized that they were going to come back.  

The audio format contributes to this too; you can’t just see that the table from episode three matches the pattern on the box in episode eight. You have to pick up on clues that were mentioned and pay attention to what people are describing, and it’s highly rewarding when the pieces all start to fit together. 

There is a bit of a downside to this though. Technically The Magnus Archives is a horror story first and a mystery second, and these two elements can mesh in weird ways. 

The horror is element is really strong. Each story is completely different, sometimes focusing on psychological horror, body horror, or supernatural versions of more primal fears like heights, darkness, enclosed spaces, etc. Basically, if you’re afraid of anything, there will be at least one episode of The Magnus Archives that gets under your skin. 

Jonny Sims can really sell his stories through both his writing and acting. He plays Jon, by the way, and plagiarized his own birth certificate for the character name. (For future reference, Jonny is the actor, Jon is the character). Overall, he’s really good at writing prose, and each narrator has a very distinct voice even though the large majority of the stories are being read by one character/actor.  

Obviously not every episode is a bull’s eye. Sometimes it’s due to the subjectivity when it comes to what you as an audience member are scared of, and occasionally it’s just weird writing decisions. I’m thinking specifically of episode 21 where the line “the sky ate him” is said, and it is the worst line in the entire show. The whole goddamn show. That’s it. That’s the number one worst line. 

But still, overall, the horror storytelling is incredibly solid, and some episodes even gave me brand new fears, like the unholy isolation of being in space, or the concept that someone you love could be replaced by someone completely different without you noticing.  

But here’s the thing; 

A lot of good horror is based on the absence of explanation. Most of the episodes that gave me the most visceral reactions of genuine terror come from the first two seasons, because that’s when the audience has the least amount of information. 

For example, in episode two, a really terrifying coffin is introduced. It’s creepy, it reacts very strangely to water for some reason, and appears to compel people to try opening it. By the end of the episode, the audience never finds out what’s in that coffin and that is a good thing. That is a huge part of what made that episode so unnerving.  

And then a few seasons later, we do find out what’s in the coffin, and to be fair the answer is both very creative and very scary, but it also takes a lot of the punch out of episode two. 

 No matter how f*cked up your thing is, it’s not going to compare to whatever the audience can conjure up in their own mind after such a creepy set up. This problem isn’t just stuck in this one scenario either; there are a lot of early episodes that, while still good, seem a lot less creepy in hindsight after you learn more about the scenario. 

I don’t think it’s bad writing, but I do think it’s a double-edged sword. Jonny Sims even mentions this sort of issue in the first Q+A. 

But yeah, to sum up; the narration is good, the ideas are creative, and seeing the mystery unfurl itself is deeply compelling. And for the record, the mystery elements aren’t of the Sherlock Holmes variety. It’s less about finding out who did the thing, and more about discovering how all of these individual points are intricately connected, pulling on each other as they move. Woven together like a... oh shit what’s the word? Gah, it’s on the tip of my tongue. Ah, whatever, I’m sure it’s not like a running motif or anything.  

Part 2: Stakes 

One of the main reasons I stopped watching Supernatural is that it devolves into complete f*cking nonsense. At the end of season five, the boys literally defeat the devil, and then the show...keeps going? Which would be fine. It’s also, largely, an episodic show, so if they have more creative ideas, they could definitely keep going with it. In fact, there are some post season five episodes that I thought were pretty good. But as they kept trying to outdo themselves with Bigger Bads, it got kind of difficult to suspend my disbelief. And the final nail in the coffin for me was the end of season nine, when Crowly basically points out to the audience that the main characters keep dying and coming back to life, so there are no stakes. The most-badest bad guy can always be defeated because some new Thing can just come out of left-field, and dying isn’t even on the table as a threat since people have tons of ways of coming back to life. 

The Magnus Archives, while being a show based in the supernatural, notably doesn’t bring anyone back to life, even though some very beloved characters die. I say “notably,” because in the season three Q+A, Jonny even says, “We make a point not to bring people back from the dead in Magnus, I know it sometimes feels like that, but we are very careful to never actually resurrect anyone.” 

Upon listening to this I said “oh my god, these guys are the only writers left who at least kind of know what they’re doing.”  

Also, as far as plot progression goes, The Magnus Archives is lowkey structurally perfect in the way the threats escalate in the underlying plot; both in terms of destruction and power and in terms of emotional consequences. Season one starts off with one major threat that’s dealt with by the end of the season, season two reveals the main villain, season three lays out the grander forces at play, season four ends the world, and season five is about un-ending the world. The difference between season one and season five is vast, but how we got there makes perfect sense. 

As for the emotional stakes, let’s talk about themes and characters. 

Part 3: Themes and Characters 

At the very end of season two, it’s revealed that the supernatural happenings in the Magnus universe are the result of entities far beyond our understanding. Since their existence is so fundamentally different from what we can comprehend, they interact with the world through cursed items, creatures, and humans who have dedicated themselves to an entity.  

A lot of people read this as a metaphor for late-stage capitalism, and I am one of those people. A bunch of faceless entities exploiting humans through means of dehumanization and causing people to suffer because it feeds them seems like an appropriate metaphor. 

While we’re on this topic, I do want to talk about Elias, since he’s the main villain of the entire series and also one of my favorite villains of all time. The Magnus Archives is a series that deals with a lot of moral questions and has a lot of characters who do morally questionable things, so one might assume that the villain of said series is, you know, morally ambiguous and sympathetic to some extent despite being “the bad guy.” 

Nope! No stops, full bastard. It’s great. 

He falls under what I’ve deemed the “unbeatable boss” archetype. He just doesn’t tolerate insubordination or resistance, and that combined with his lack of empathy means that anyone who crosses him is either killed or brought to heel. His power set is cool too. On the surface the ability to see out of any eye and read minds sounds useful, but not deal breaking, but the way he uses that power to manipulate people and anticipate threats...yeah, it makes him kind of impossible to beat.  

He’s just...so evil and he loves being evil and every single f*cking thing he does pisses me off and makes me want to kill him. It’s. Great. 

Anyways, I think Elias’s role as the central antagonist is what makes the capitalist reading so common. He’s the head of the institute, he’s wealthy, he’s powerful, and he dehumanizes people in ways that are both brutal and chillingly indifferent. He seems like an appropriate stand in through that lens. 

I also love how voice actor Ben Meredith plays him like’s he’s trying to seduce the audience.  

With all of that said, I wouldn’t call this the critique of capitalism a direct allegory or anything; in much looser terms, this could be a metaphor for any power structure that exploits humans. Organized religion or cults might be even more on the nose, considering there’s a lot of mentions of rituals and worship within the show. 

But if we boil it down to its barest aspects and focus on the avatar characters, The Magnus Archives is a series about people becoming monsters. Or, at the very least, becoming worse versions of themselves. That can mean a lot of things to different people in a metaphorical sense; the tense relationship between desperation and morality, the eagerness to please at the cost of one’s own mental health, the psychological traumas that lead people down dark paths, and how personal choices can still be dictated and manipulated by outside influences. It’s kind of heavy stuff, but put into a digestible package through the show’s abstractions. 

Well, for the most part.  

There’s some debate as to whether or not Daisy’s arc was handled tastefully. While her demise and Basira’s character arc were clearly meant to condemn police brutality and the deeply corrupt system that allows it to foster, it’s still a weird subject to discuss in such a fantastical context, and there is a strange sympathy for the devil angle that can get kind of uncomfortable for some listeners.  

Okay, stepping back from that for a bit, let’s talk about Jon and how he fits into this whole “people becoming corrupted” thing. 

Jon has one of my favourite brands of character arc, which is one based in deterioration alongside growth. The most obvious way this takes form is his departure from humanity as his relationship with the Eye drives him to psychologically harm others, and he finds himself sympathizing more and more with the people he was afraid of, stating in episode 152 that anyone listening to his recordings might compare him to the other avatars that have had their minds and morals twisted. 

Over the course of the series, he is repeatedly traumatized and the show makes a point that he is being both physically and emotionally scarred. These happenings are what drive his motivation for revenge in season five, and he even states that revenge is making him a worse person. As a character he’s constantly berating himself and his own monstrousness, much to Martin’s dismay.  

That’s why the finale destroys me in the best way. Upon seeing that Jon has betrayed him and basically given himself over to the Eye, Martin asks “how much of you is even left?” And when Jon tries to reassure him that he’s still himself, Martin’s response is “how would you even know?” This cuts through me every time. Up until this point, Martin had consistently stood up for Jon and Jon’s humanity, even in the face of Tim’s doubt, Basira’s mistrust, Elias being cryptic, and Jon’s own self-hatred. This is the ultimate breaking point, the point where even Martin, the love of Jon’s life, doesn’t really recognize him. It’s brutal. Because at the end of the day, Jon is still himself; he’s a deeply broken person trying to make the right decisions.  

We’ll come back to the finale later, but for now I want to talk about the romance. 

Jon’s emotional growth throughout the series is largely tied into Martin. Martin’s the first person that Jon really opens up to, and this later grows into trust which then turns into a genuine emotional connection.  On the flip side, Martin’s growth in season four is largely tied into Jon. Martin starts season four basically waiting to die, but Jon’s return gives him a reason to keep living, and he’s later able to recognize his own value outside of the pure utility of ‘you need to set yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.’ Both of them give each other reason to push onward despite everything becoming more and more hopeless.  

It’s a good romance. I wish the two had had a few more scenes together before the culmination, but it is built up over the course of four seasons and comes together in an utterly fantastic confession.  

And yeah, the scene with Martin and Jon in the Lonely is cheesy as hell, but it is the highest quality of cheese. These are some gourmet nachos.  

Umm, also kind of stating the obvious here, but it’s also pretty cool that the main character in this horror story falls in love with another man. You don’t see that a lot, and it’s cool that no one even makes a big deal out of it. It’s just a normal romance, but with two guys. It’s nice. 

So, they go to Scottland, they hang out, they’re in love, Jonalias starts the apocalypse through Jon, the world ends, and season five starts! 

...Let’s talk about season five! 

Part 4: Season 5 

At the very start of this post, I said that supernatural mysteries tend to get worse as they go along, and I am deeply sad to report that I don’t think that The Magnus Archives is an exception. It just goes downhill in a very different way than its ilk. 

And, so we’re clear, I don’t think season five totally tanks or becomes unlistenable, it’s just, in my opinion, notably worse than the rest of the show. 

As discussed earlier, it doesn’t fall apart due to a lack of planning; everything still makes sense, but the presentation has changed drastically. The episodic statements are no longer scary stories, but more like slam poems about the various hellscapes that Jon and Martin are trekking through. Honestly if these were published in a book of slam poetry, I would probably think they slapped pretty hard. I genuinely believe that Jonny Sims is a good writer, but as a podcast a lot of these statements just made me zone out. There’s at least four that I don’t even slightly remember. Myself and many others have noted that they just...aren’t scary, unless there’s a specific episode that really gets under your skin due to a certain fear or phobia. 

To quote my friend, “it’s harder to feel a solid impact when the setting is literally divorced from reality. People would either go numb or insane to the point where their fears become unrelatable.” 

And, to be honest, I think that this same surreal odyssey set up could have worked with a slight shift in narration. Two stand out episodes for me were “Strung Out” and “Wonderland.” Both of them show the tormented target actively trying to resist and interact with their tormenter, instead of just trying to escape or live through their situation. “Strung Out” is also more of character study; you learn about Francis’s life before the apocalypse through their interaction with the Web hellscape. Meanwhile “Wonderland” is just...f*cked, and you get to see Jon take the perspective of first-person Bad Guy throughout the whole thing, which is its own level of disturbing. 

But the majority of episodes feel so abstract that I kind of forget the people trapped in them are supposed to be characters and not just concepts, so it’s harder to feel their dread and pain. 

But I’m still here for the metaplot, the drama, and the romance. And when that’s good, it’s great! I think the final handful of episodes are really solid in that regard. 

Buuuuuuut... 

A decent chunk of season five is dedicated to the “kill bill” plot. Jon discovers he has the power to smite people, and while at first, he’s embarrassed about this, since he actively enjoyed killing Not!Sasha, Martin is super into it! He’s encouraging Jon to murder people.  

This is actually the set up for a really good arc. As Jon gets more and more into his own avenging angel persona, Martin could get more and more disturbed by it so by the time they get to London, Martin could be really upset that Jon is so willing to wreak his own divine justice by killing or torturing all of the avatars. 

And this does kind of happen. We do reach this end state, and it makes for a good final conflict, but the way we got here was borderline nonsense. Thematic gibberish, if you will. 

Throughout the journey, Martin is clearly motived by a sense of justice; these people are bad, and so they should die. Whereas Jon is clearly more motivated by revenge; he only goes after the avatars that hurt him personally. At one point, Jon admits that maybe all of this killing isn’t making anything better, but just making him worse. Martin apologizes for egging him on, Jon absolves him by saying he started it, and then Martin’s like “I’ll keep my apology then.” This is the second worst line in the entire series, right after “the sky ate him.” And it’s close. 

But it kind of feels like we’re back at square one. Jon is back to being ashamed of killing and Martin is still keen on his justice stance, but now just less pushy about it. The arc is basically half resolved at this point. 

But then it doesn’t matter, because Jon kills Helen anyway. So, Jon’s back on his revenge/justice thing. Then what was the point of his earlier revelation? Why have that if it’s not going to matter and the conflict that was escalating still culminates with Jon leaning into the avenging angel stuff, and Martin being disturbed by it? It just makes both of them look like huge hypocrites! I f*cking hate it when they’re in the tunnels and Martin says “you weren’t meant to enjoy it this much,” regarding Jon’s smiting. Where did this come from?! Why didn’t you say this earlier? Third worst line in the series. 

And yeah, I’ll say it; the boys fight too much in this season. I loved their romance up to season five, and their cute moments and more lowkey serious discussions are still good in this season, but God, they fight so much. And I’m not saying couples can’t have fights or tension, that’s just realistic and also stories need conflict to be interesting. Jonny Sims is on the record saying that balancing a healthy romance with the stress of a literal apocalypse was a priority, and I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s well balanced.  I’m just saying that sometimes it feels like they don’t even like each other and it really started to grate on me. 

Maybe it would have been better if the beginning of this season was dedicated to charming romance at first, so we as an audience could better appreciate how strong their love is and how it’s truly being tested. But obviously that was never on the table— 

ALEX NO. 

So, yeah, I have a lot of problems with season. I think it’s the worst one by far, even though there is a lot of it I still enjoy, including the ending. 

As I mentioned before, the moment where Martin confronts Jon in the panopticon absolutely kills me, and Jon’s reaction kills me even harder. Throughout the season, Jon had largely been motivated by revenge, martyrdom, and the subconscious call of the Eye, and all three of those factors led him to his position as the pupil. He’s getting revenge against the powers, sacrificing his humanity to get rid of the Fears, and taking his place as wearer of the watcher’s crown. But all of this gets thrown out the window when he realizes that Martin is going to die. And not only is Martin going to die, Martin is going to die specifically because he loves Jon and refuses to leave Jon alone to die horribly. Martin had always been an underlying motivation for Jon, his “reason” as stated in episode 167, but now love as a motivator has come to the forefront, and Jon can no longer go through with his plan because of it. But at this point in the series, they’re both utterly doomed, and Jon concludes that the only possible chance they have of surviving, however unlikely, would be to sever the pupil of the eye, technically killing Jon, but maybe, just maybe, allowing them to escape with the Fears. Whether that’s meant to be literal or more ethereal is left unclear. Hell, maybe Jon’s just making it up completely and creating his own potential happy ending. It’s a pretty potent ending in emotional terms; Jon has to release the Fears and Martin has to kill Jon, and those are the two things they were dead set on not doing.  

The Web, arguably the real main antagonist, basically won, and their manipulation of Jon worked. The destruction spread, and there is kind of a bleak underlying tone to that. 

But at least this ending has some semblance of hope to it. I’m not saying that releasing the Fears was objectively the correct moral decision; the entire point of the dilemma is that there was no objectively correct moral decision. But, while Jon’s solution does have merit, it was also the most hopeless. I think dramatically, any one of the choices on the table could have worked if the writing was well executed, but thematically this one seemed like the perfect combination of grim and optimistic. Like, all of the evils that plague humanity can’t just be defeated forever and things could get worse, but maybe not. Maybe everything works out... 

So yeah, The Magnus Archives...is a podcast. And it’s a really good podcast. Great, even. I can complain about season five all I want, but regardless of how that worked out, you can tell throughout the entire show that the people working on it were trying to tell a genuinely excellent story. 

It’s good. Go listen to it. Even though I spoiled the entire thing and if you’re still here, you’ve probably already listened to it. Listen to it again. 

[dcomicsficrecs]

Got any good longish casefic recs? Got a loooong trip and I need something to keep me occupied. Thank you so much!!

First of all, thank you for sending this ask! I love case-heavy stories and long fics, so that was an opportunity to re-discover some of my favorite stories. I am going to re-read half of the list now, as well!

Here we go - top ten recommendations for long(ish) case fics!

1) detective stories series by prismatical starting with bad signal (38K)

The rescue mission went well. Nightwing is safe. Everything should be alright.

Right?

It’s a really gripping story that will keep you on the edge of your seat till the end. Features all of Batfam with Dick as a focus but other boy Robins play significant part too.

2) For Those Who Can't  by  GoAwayOlivia (8K)

They don’t understand him at all. There is no setting him off, that’s not the way it works. And he doesn’t go on violent sprees. Jason kills when the situation demands. That’s it. Plain and simple. He doesn’t lose his temper and murder any asshole that pisses him off. Every kill is a decision that he makes, and every decision is carefully weighed and measured with a cool head. He only ever kills because the person deserves to die.

Red Hood!Jason conducts investigation into a sting of murders that happened on his territory. I have a lot of feelings about this story and I’m sure you will, too.

3)  Raisin Delight  by  LemonadeGarden (8K)

A year after Jason Todd dies, Tim Drake and Bruce Wayne take on the case when they notice strange occurrences in Gotham city. This has disastrous consequences, but so do most things that Tim gets caught up in, so what's new, really.

It’s not only a case fic but also a time travel fic which is, imo, a double treat! The ending is very powerful even if I expect you’re going to have mixed feelings about it.

4)  Little Wing and Big Bird by Airawyn (16K)

When Bruce attempts to murder Jason in his sleep, the young Robin goes to his predecessor for help. Nightwing and Robin must work together to find out what happened to the real Bruce Wayne.

Fic featuring Robin!Jason teaming up with Nightwing!Dick. The boys save Bruce and Alfred and have a heart-to-heart in the process. Superb.

5) Some fics from More to Being a Father than Having a Kid by Romiress:

We Don't Raise Heroes (70K), Don't Call It Revenge (58K), Legacy's Sway (107K)

While technically not a case fic but include a big mysteries that Batfam investigates so I think it counts. I highly recommend the whole series. First fics are gen!

6) The Bat's Crest by livierambles (200K+)

Tragedy strikes the hero community when Bruce Wayne commits a crime so heinous even the best start asking for blood. However, as the heroes try to recover from the hit and carry out justice for their friends, a random assortment of people start acting oddly, including the current Speedy Tim Drake, a child hostage in Gotham, and a young man from an unremarkable circus amongst others. All of them seem intent on saving Bruce Wayne from the grasp of the Justice League for no apparent reason, going as far as betraying their previous allegiances.

Unknown to the Justice League, these people are equally confused. Clearly they're stuck in another dimension, but how do they get back? How did they even get here? Who else is stuck in this world? And how long will Tim's patience last? Back home, the Bat was a planetary symbol that struck fear in the hearts of criminals. In this new world, it has no meaning, save for the handful of stranded souls.

All Batfam is featured. While this is also technically not a case fic but adventure/dimension travel fic, its plot has a mystery element to it and characters have to investigate a lot as far as I remember. It’s probably the only WIP here on this list but god, is it worth to read and bookmark it. You know what? I’m even going to go ahead and subscribe to the author, too.

7) The Volatile Verse (117K) by BlackFriar, starting with Volatile (47K)

After a transdimensional mishap, Batman and Robin are faced with a murderous Joker rampaging through Gotham and an anti-hero who is determined to remove Robin from the crime-fighting business. Can they strike a balance before it all ends in tragedy and the Joker has the last laugh?

It’s a dimension travel case fic (series of fics, actually!) set in Young Justice with Robin!Dick and main universe!Red Hood!Jason. It’s a great story that doesn’t shy away from darker themes, can and probably will make you cry, but it also has hopeful ending. This Jason is going to be okay with these Bruce and Dick, and at the end of the day, after the case is solved, what else do you need?

8) I saved one of the best till the end, and it’s basically anything by Mikimoo

Fair warning, most of their fics are jaydick. My favorites are:

8.1 Between The Bars (48K)

A number of suspicious deaths at South Haven Penitentiary are being ignored by the authorities, but have attracted the attention of various other parties.

OR:

That one time Dick and Jason accidentally ended up undercover on the same mission and started a riot.

8.2 And If I Recover (33K)

Officer Dick Grayson is captured by a criminal group that makes it's living from torture and extortion. Half the family are forced to watch as events unfold, while the rest franticly try to track down the culprits.

8.3 That Awful Bitter Taste (30K)

Roped in to find out what has happened to Dick on an undercover mission, Jason finds himself faced with situations that challenge his personal identity. Meanwhile, Dick is having to face demons from his past, and Jason is not sure if he is helping or hurting.

But of course, the best time to have this particular existential crisis is while trying not to die in the desert, and being chased by angry men with guns.

8. 4 This Night (33K)

The Red Hood and Officer Grayson are on the same case.  A small misstep has far reaching consequences for them both.

All those fics are tagged as jaydick, and most of them have high rating but it’s for graphic description of violence so read the warnings before reading.

Even if you aren’t a jaydick shipper, those fics are plot-heavy and case-focused. The relationship dynamic and its progress would be natural and heartfelt as well.

Also, if asked to choose only one fic from the author, or only one jaydick, or only one case fic, I probably would have chosen Between The Bars, just so you know.

9. Two Birds on a Wire by  empires, pentapus (20K)

Dick asks Jason for help on a case. Jason should have never agreed.

It’s so popular you probably read it already. Still, just in case, I will include it too because it’s such a great undercover mission fic.

10)  Crimes at Night by empires (16k)

It's summer in Gotham, and the city is experiencing a record breaking heatwave and a rash of violence centered around a strange new drug circulating through the city's youth. Robin is determined to locate the drug's source and put an end to the distribution before things get worse.

Young Justice verse, Robin!Dick and never adopted!Jason, jaydick. It’s a great AU and well-executed case fic and if you’re into Jason/Dick, their relationships are very cute also.

[stevetonygames]

Spotlight Post: Canon Soulmate Bonds

Yooo, this is a blog takeover, Mizzy here, ready to champion one of my favourite fictional causes: canonical soulbonds in the Marvel universe.

We all love a good soulbond fic. Words on your body, names on your wrist, red string of fate...so many glorious versions, and all of them *completely awesome*. The problem sometimes with starting a soulbond fic, though, can be all the worldbuilding required to make it work. But what if I was to tell you that no worldbuilding was necessary? That you could technically write a soulbond fic without having to set it in an Alternate Universe? What if you could set your soulbond fic *directly in main canon?*

Marvel 616 delivers you a canonical soulbond mechanic… not once… but at least *twice*. There could be more. There’s a lot of comics to go through and I’m only smol. But here’s the two I know about and I’m here to introduce you to today. :)

The was a ripple of mild confusion around fandom when Kevin Feige announced that the Eternals were getting a title movie in the next phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Created by Jack Kirby in the 1970s, in a wild combination of mythological fascination and spite at DC comics for not letting him finish his New Gods saga, the Eternals were an offshoot of humanity, created by the Celestials for humanity’s protection; this reason for their existence would lead them into their ongoing conflict against the deadly Deviants. There have been a few Eternals runs (notably one run by Neil Gaiman, which did not serve to bring the Eternals the commercial success Marvel was searching for with the title, that nevertheless remains the most fun and accessible Eternals volume), but they’ve not yet really reached wide-reaching traction among even the most die-hard comic fans. The MCU might change that, and here’s hoping, because I love these nearly-immortal idiots, and I’m hoping not to be alone in that for much longer. :D

But even my Eternals-happy soul has to admit, Eternals canon for the most part is dense and can be convoluted, and the spellings—both of their character names and one of the main fun parts of their existence, the Mahd W’yry—are enough to give one a headache. The idea of the Eternals is that they’re long-lived and have interacted with human history over the years in various impactful ways. You might think at first glance that you’ve never heard of the Eternals Sersi, Ikaris, Makkari, but I think you wouldn’t find Circe, Icarus, or Mercury unfamiliar names.

The Mahd W’yry is a symptom of the Eternals being so long-living. In order to stop them going insane, the Eternals have to bond into something known as the Uni-Mind, which basically squishes all their consciousnesses together into one, where they can share memories and blend temporarily into one mind. Regularly bonding into the Uni-Mind allows them to stave off the Mahd W’yry. (Yep, that’s just a headache-inducing spelling of ‘mad worry’, we know.)

Anyway, did you need to know all this? Eh, maybe, a little bit of canned backstory is always handy for you to briefly glance over and promptly forget. Because along with some dense mythological adventures, some glorious angsting across beautiful landscapes, and that ability to turn into a big massive floating brain, the Eternals also gave us a beautiful gift:

The Gann Josin.

In Avengers #361, Ikaris comes down to Earth and decides that Sersi needs to be bonded to Dane Whitman, an Avenger who canonically didn’t have any powers, he was just a *really good guy*, destined for tragedy. Honestly. That’s his bio. Really good guy. Destined for tragedy. The character creation in the 90s was peak talent. Dane, sadly, was in love with another woman, but did this matter to Ikaris? No. Apparently the Eternals don’t know about the dangers of letting himbos like Ikaris have life-changing powers, like the ability to create the Uni-Mind. 

Because the power to control the Uni-Mind also gives an Eternal the power to form a Gann Josin bond. And that’s what Ikaris does in Avengers #361—he forces a Gann Josin bond on Eternal Sersi and tragic human Avenger Dane Whitman.

Gann Josin (sometimes Gan-Josin because what is spelling continuity in Marvel comics) is both the name of the bond, and the title given to an Eternal and their chosen life-mate. It has a bunch of cool side effects. Both Gann Josins get glowing full-red eyes. It’s a really intimate tiny form of the Uni-Mind (without the part where you become a big floating brain), and creates a small scale mental union. The Gann Josin bond makes the Eternal and their partner lifelong soulmates. As the bond progresses, it creates a telepathic/empathic bond that strengthens in time. According to the Eternal Sprite, humans are rarely chosen by Eternals for the Gann Josin.

Now, Dane Whitman does manage to break the Gann Josin several issues later. But… it’s not easy. It’s rare. When Dane manages it, it is called an “astounding act.” It’s pretty dang hard, in other words. There’s every chance your chosen Gann Josins won’t have the mental fortitude of Dane Whitman to break it. (Although, we’re talking about Steve and Tony, and are there any bigger stubborn idiots in the universe? Probably not.)

But Mizzy, I hear you saying. I don’t want to write about Ikaris, even if he is a party king and that sounds pretty nifty. I don’t know anything about the Eternals and I don’t want to go down that gnarly rabbit hole.

That’s totes fine, my friend. I am here to save you. Because in very recent canon, during Jason Aaron’s turn at the helm, the Eternals are all dead. Very dead. That whole Mahd W’yry thing got ‘em, it got ‘em good. But before Ikaris died, he granted his Uni-Mind power to someone we all know and love.

Yep. Tony Stark. Tony Stark currently has the power of the Uni-Mind.

Which means that Tony Stark can now Gann Josin people.

In Avengers #361, Ikaris performs the Gann Josin by basically just pointing his hands at Sersi and Dane and some light goes WHEEEEEEE!! in their direction, and bam, this rare and special bond is done. And Tony Stark can do that now. To anyone! Unfortunately Ikaris is dead and didn’t leave Tony with an instruction manual. But the point is, he *can*. You can make up all sorts of fun things with this canonical fact (or write your own version because lbr Canon Is Dead; Long Live Canon.)

There are so many possibilities. Does Tony deliberately learn how to use it so he can bond himself to Steve? Does Tony *need* to be able to hear Steve’s thoughts (to thwart some bad guys) and thus end up soulbonded forever to Steve in result? Is Tony’s power activating at random because he can’t control it, and he ends up soulbonding everyone around him? Does he just subconsciously bond himself to Steve without consciously meaning to? Do Tony or Steve want to try it for science?

Gosh, I love comics.

But WAIT. There’s MORE.

It’s not just 1990s comics going ham on the soulbond idea. No, we got some *this year*. Canonical soulbonding? TWICE? In one universe? Two different kinds??

And this time, it’s not in a D-list Marvel title. We’re up the ranks to the big leagues this time, folx, with a brief trek to the world of the Fantastic Four.

In Fantastic Four (Vol. 6) #15, we’re introduced to a Spyre citizen called Sky, a winged team member of the Unparalleled (more cosmic-powered superheroes), who work under The Overseer. (The Overseer, in a burst of beautiful retcon in the way Marvel comics keeps doing to us, is apparently the entity who is responsible for giving the F4 their powers. Huh. The more you know.)

On the planet Spyre, all children are brought before something called The Great Eye. This measures them against the radiation signature of everyone on the planet, divining who their perfect match is. 

Sky looked into The Great Eye, only to find out her match was Johnny Storm, who was 44 light-years away at the time. Long-distance relationships can be tough. Anyway, plot happens, the F4 get stuck on Spyre, get told they can’t leave, and Sky tells Johnny Storm that she is his soulmate. Oh, and she attached a soul binding onto him while he slept. Neat, huh, all the bodily autonomy people get in this universe before being force soulbond to people? So neat, much consent, wow.

Johnny feels a connection to Sky, which is supposed to let us know this lack of choice is a good thing I guess. The Overseer wants Sky to renounce Johnny and crush the F4 which obv doesn’t happen, so of course she leaves The Unparalleled and skips off to Earth to be with Johnny. 

Who knows how this relationship is gonna last. I mean, you can look at the rest of Johnny’s relationship history and have a good guess. Who knows. Anyway, Reed and Sue are each other's soulmate, and also share a “Soul Binding”, so there’s some canonical proof right there that maybe this system has some validity going for it.

The soulbond for this form takes the form of a golden bracelet worn on the upper arm, that Sky explains her people call a “Soul Binding”; it represents them as being soul-mates. This bracelet can only be removed by your soulmate. This soulbond doesn’t seem to come with any extra powers, it’s just to show that The Great Eye has measured their radiation signature and declared them a match that is supposed to mean they’re perfectly compatible in every way: spiritually, mentally, and physically.

I don’t know about you, but I have a pretty good feeling that Steve and Tony might just have matching radiation signatures… Or what if Steve and Tony have perfect matching signatures….with other people? (Someone else on Spyre believes Sky is *their* perfect match, after all!) What if Steve has feelings for Iron Man, but he’s a perfect match with Tony Stark? I feel faint already just thinking about it.

So here you go. Two canonical types of soulbonds for your fannish consideration. Feel free to ask me questions! You can find me on tumblr (@mizzy2k) or on discord (addy#0908).